Changing Myself

These recent weeks for me has been very eventful. We went to places outside QC (hi EK), attended birthdays, watched important events at UP [Pag-iilaw (Ebe Dancel!), Oblation Run, etc.], galas and acads. And there’s more dates to come. It’s funny how I often vent here about not having an eventful life but really, I just do that when I miss doing something outside home. And I just realized that I do go out a lot. Maybe I’m just too cynical to notice those little things that make my life eventful. Maybe I’m just thinking that “eventful” is immediately synonymous with “something major” like a concert or whatnot, but that’s almost impossible and that’s just wishing for so much. I read a quote somewhere that goes along the lines of, “Happiness will happen to you if you just lower your expectations.” I’ve been doing that lately — lowering my expectations in many aspects of my life, and I figured that it’s quite healthy. I’ve always been the kind of person who have high hopes. I expect too much. I’m ambitious. Maybe it doesn’t show on the surface but I am. Someone told me that I look like the happy-go-lucky type. Someone who doesn’t really have a direction in life, and that’s kind of true. But really, I’m just uncertain about what person am I going to be in the future. I wanted to be a lot of person at the same time. But it all falls down to philanthropy. I’ve always wanted to do that. I always want to show people that they are appreciated and they are special, because I’m having trouble with that too, and it hurts a lot when you feel that you’re not appreciated and that you’re really just a speck in the dust— that you’re insignificant. But, life’s too short to whine about negativities. And unhealthy, too.

My Spanish professor, Prof. Jennifer Ozoa, who I adore so much, asked the class once: “Have you ever tried changing yourself? It’s hard, right?” It is. It really is hard, especially if you have been a cynical, excessively guarded person for a long time. How can you transition right away into this positive, ray of sunshine person that you’ve always wanted to be? It’s hard but I’ll try. Approximately, I need 60 days to form a habit. It’s a long time. An hour and a half is too long already for me, so 60 days would be undoubtedly hard. But in order to really grow as a person, I have to help myself improve.

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Prof. Ozoa was my Spanish professor also back in 2010. (Span 10). Thinking about it brings back good memories.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sapritil says:

    Kaya mo ‘yan. Goodluck sa paparating na linggo sa Diliman. Malapit na ang pasahan ng mga papel.

    P.S. Nandoon din pala ako sa pagkanta ni Ebe sa harap ng Oblation. Ingat.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Angel says:

      Maraming salamat po! 🙂

      Like

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