Maybe it’s time to open my heart again. I haven’t been truly reaching out to anyone for a long time. 5 years to be exact. I’m just so afraid of being rejected, of being unloved, of being hated. All this time, I’ve believed that not allowing myself to truly attach with anyone is good. No drama. No disappointments. Little did I know that this also means no real growth. And an empty heart.
Perhaps I’ve been lying most of my life. We talk. We exchange endless banters, but only a few has truly been meaningful to me. This time, I want everything to be meaningful. I want to be my young self again, back when I was still rapt in awe with everything in life. Back when I still search for meaning in everything.
I’m sorry that I’ve rejected so many people who’ve offered me love, and time. It’s a pity for me to reject you. It’s a pity to reject love, and life.
It’s time for me to embrace everything, and just go with it. It’s a shame that I loved the old
classic, “Carpe diem,” but really, I haven’t truly translated them in action.
Truly. Truly. I have used this word too much in this piece. But that’s what we all want, right? We want things real. We want things true. And true things come if we can just be true with ourselves and everything that we feel. And that would happen if we open our hearts. I choose to open my heart.